Relationship Counseling
Do You Find Yourself Struggling With The Same Relationship Issues Over And Over Again?
Does the fear of intimacy, vulnerability, or abandonment impact your friendships or romantic relationships? Do you struggle with boundaries and limit-setting in work relationships or with family members? Does conflict avoidance limit your ability to effectively communicate your feelings and assert your needs? Perhaps you don’t feel safe being your genuine self, limiting how close people can get to you, feeling alone even when you are with others.
It can be easy to get stuck in unhealthy relationship patterns, and hard to break free from them on your own. Painful past relationships, traumatic experiences, and unhealthy dynamics in the family you grew up in can all impact the way you navigate relationships throughout your life.
It doesn’t help that we live in a society that idealizes family and romantic relationships, turning them into fairy tales that ignore the complexities involved in real people living their real lives together. We are often shown myths of relationships and love that require little effort, which sets people up to feel ashamed and disappointed that their relationships aren’t so easy.
And because our culture applauds unhealthy expectations in the workplace - overachieving, perfectionism, and the sacrifice of our personal lives - we can feel like we are doing something wrong when we set healthy boundaries at work.
Therapy Can Help You Improve Your Relationships
We all come into relationships with some baggage, and that’s okay. Therapy will help you unpack it so you can develop and maintain healthier relationships in which you will feel understood, supported, connected, and at ease.
In our work together I will draw upon a variety of approaches, taking into account which ones best meet your specific needs and which ones feel most useful to you.
Psychodynamic theory can help us understand your early relationships with family, and how those impact your understanding of yourself and your connections with others. If we find deeper emotional wounding there, we may use EMDR to help you process and heal those wounds.
The Gottman Method provides specific tools for improved communication and conflict resolution while building intimacy and joyful, meaningful connection.
The Internal Family Systems (IFS) model and Ego State work can help us understand different aspects of ourselves that may be at odds with each other. For example, there may be a part of you that is longing for close connection and another part that feels unsafe trusting others, and sabotages relationships in an effort to protect you. These models help us address the needs of both parts so you can form those connections without feeling afraid.
I can also draw on my years of teaching yoga and meditation, integrating mindfulness and grounding techniques into our work to help you stay centered, calm, and in control of your emotions.
Perhaps You Are Considering Relationship Counseling, But You Still Have Concerns…
What if the problem really isn't that bad, and I am just making a big deal out of it?
If your situation is bothering you enough to be thinking about getting help, it is a big enough deal. You deserve to be as happy and comfortable in your relationships as you can be. Even if the distress you experience is mild, counseling can be a helpful way to improve your relationships.
I worry that therapy will force me to face painful relationship issues from my past.
The anticipation of facing a painful or difficult past can feel overwhelming. We will take a look at your past at a pace and amount that feels comfortable to you, while also helping you learn to manage your feelings with greater ease.
What if there's nothing that can be done to help me?
It is not uncommon to feel hopeless about the possibility of change. But you are here looking for help, which is a good sign that you are motivated and open to the work that needs to be done. I’ve worked with many people who have had your same doubts, and they have all made changes that have improved their relationships. You too can do that work.